.Saturday, January 14, 2006 ' 10:31:00 PM Y
XOXO, there's only me.
Gang of IV outing tomorrow...shouldn't I be overjoyed?
Embracing those wonderful KC times that I miss so much
But somehow it doesn't feel the same any longer
We've moved on with our lives
So many changes have taken place
They have changed
I have changedIt's not like I'm dreading it...I'm really looking forward to it
Just that the feelings are so caged
Drained so mentally, physically, emotionally
The past year that taught me so much
Happiness, Grief, Sadness, Regret
Somtimes I wish it had never taken place
Rewind back to my life before that and wished it never ended
I'm tired of these feelings
I'm tired of hearing myself gripe over it
I'm sure a fren is tired of listening to me
"If can end the unhappiness then end la"
or so I was told long ago by someone who regrets those words now
It's a different story for everyone
Maybe it'll work for me
Patience? I cant take it anymore
Communication? I just cant find the right words
Blame it on my bad command of english then
As for studies...i'll leave that till the 16th
And at this instant, I want nothing more than to move out of this goddamn house
Why is my life so fucked up?
Why cant there just be a part of it that doesnt make me feel like crap?
.Tuesday, January 10, 2006 ' 5:37:00 PM Y
XOXO, there's only me.
6 more days till i know my fate
haha kinda scary even though i've no attachment to the school...
Odac isn't as fun as it was anymore
studies? screw it...
my frens, the kc-ians i'll continue to stay in contact with no matter wad
tpjc-ians...so many have come and gone, who'll stay till the end I'll never know
friendship proves to be ephemeral
into another chapter...
i guess i'm suppose to be happy, then why do i feel like shit
things aren't what it seems
i suppose happy endings dun exist, not in my story
it's not even transient for me
maybe the author sucks at writing
looking at others i guess my story is far from ideal
it doesnt even have a body
stories where questions should be fed with answers
my book is made of irrelevant chapters
spewing questions after questions
drowning the characters
how can it ever be easy to pen down feelings
i'm stuck in a vortex, blinded by confusion
why does things have to be this way?
WhyWhy do you always do this to me?Why couldn't you just see right through me?How come you act like thisLike you just don't care at allDo you expect me to believe I was the only one to fallI can feel, I can feel you, near me even though you're far awayI can feel, I can feel you baby, why?It's not supposed to feel this wayI need you, I need you, more and more each dayIt's not supposed to hurt this wayI need you, I need you, I need you Tell me, Are you and me still together? Tell me, You think we can last forever Tell me, WhyHey, Listen to what we're not sayingLet's play a different game than what we're playin'Try to look at me and really see my heartDo you expect me to believeI'm gonna let us fall apartSo go and think about whatever you need to think about Go and dream about whatever you need to dream aboutCome back to me when you know just how you feel
