~~The Sanctuary of PhoenixBlade~~

2008-08-30T01:54:00.004+08:00

I really do not like Miley Cyrus and I hate her voice even more but I hafta say, the lyrics of this song's really cute =)

I probably shouldn't say this, but at times I get so scared
When I think about the previous relationship we shared
It was awesome, but we lost it
It's not possible for me not to care

And now we're standing in the rain,
But nothing's ever gonna change until you hear, my dear
The 7 things I hate about you
The 7 things I hate about you
Oh, you

You're vain, your games, you're insecure
You love me, you like her
You make me laugh, you make me cry
I don't know which side to buy
Your friends, they're jerks
When you act like them just know it hurts
I want to be with the one I know
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you

It's awkward and silent as I wait for you to say
What I need to hear now is your sincere apology
When you mean it, I'll believe it
If you text it, I'll delete it, lets be clear
Oh, I'm not coming back
You're taking 7 steps here

The 7 things I hate about you
You're vain, your games, you're insecure
You love me, you like her
You make me laugh, you make me cry
I don't know which side to buy
Your friends, they're jerks
When you act like them just know it hurts
I want to be with the one I know
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you

And compared to all the great things that would take to long to write
I probably should mention the 7 that I like

The 7 things I like about you
Your hair, your eyes, your old Levi's
When we kiss I'm hypnotized
You make me laugh, you make me cry
But I guess that's both I'll have to buy
Your hands in mine
When we're intertwined everything's alright
I want to be with the one I know
And the 7th thing I like the most that you do
You make me love you

2008-08-10T22:48:00.003+08:00

Oh the sweet sweet holidays...two weeks...how valuable...how scarce. Can't wait to club!! Phuture, double O here I come!! (After one whole farking month) My fingers are so sore from mashing the analog button and my wrist is dying from guitar hero! Gaming, shopping, clubbing, drinking, movie-ing, kbox-ing, suppering, sport-ing...I'm loving my life and i sooooooo dun wanna go back to school =(

Why does confusion always find a way to entrap me back in that endless vortex
I didn't realise that everything I'm looking for is what I wanna be
Not an ideal partner, just an ideal self
Maybe that's why I appreciate life a lot more than you do
That I don't need a half cos i already have a whole
Still wallowing in self pity
Made me feel so useless but I guess it's all just you
Thank God for the liberation, I could finally love myself more
Somehow it saddens me a little to see how damaged your soul is
But I take comfort in the fact of knowing how wrong you were
I apologize if I'm being a bitch, blame it on human nature not me

He is everything you want
He is everything you need
He is everything inside of you that you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why

I guess sometimes it takes a dream guy for you to realise that you don't wanna dream no more

2008-06-15T01:02:00.002+08:00

I AM SO FUCKING PISSED RIGHT NOW!!

Oh wow dun fucking talk down to me like that, the oh-i'm-so-magnanimous-and-you're-being-a-bitch-again way
guess what you did it too so dun make me look like the bad guy just cos you decided to be good for that moment
And for one thing i was just questioning not even concluding and you go on with that fucking tone all over
your words are blatant contradictions in the first fucking place
you do tt more than i do so dun go around acting like you're such a saint
i'm getting so sick of talking to you cos everytime it ends up in some kind of argument
when you're too stubborn to change ur warp perception dun come biting my head off just cos i think otherwise
whatever
seems like you've got all the others so this one is just cheap to you
guess what? i dun give a fuck anymore
and i'm not gonna give in again this time

2008-01-06T03:05:00.000+08:00

Ok its 3am and i cant sleep...so i went on blogthings!!

You've Been Bit By the Shopping Bug!

You're constantly adding to your wardrobe - and it shows. However, you can show some restraint. You love good deals.Your love of the clearance rack has paid off...You probably have only maxed out card or two, if at all!

Do You Shop More Than Most Women?

And that explains my $70 beret...and I'm loving it so stop asking!! =)

You Are a Friendly Flirt!

You are quite the flirt, but you don't flirt with just anyone.
And you hardly ever get caught, because your flirting seems so friendly.
You've got a good thing going. Tons of friends, both guys and girls.
And if you do decide to flirt, hardly anyone's the wiser. Pretty trick!

What Kind of Flirty Girl Are You?

Your Kissing Grade: A-

You are truly an amazing kisser. Your kisses are extraordinarily mind blowing.
Whether you're naturally a good kisser or not, you've taken the time learn how to be the best kisser possible.
Anyone would be lucky to get a kiss from you!

How Do Your Kisses Rate?

I swear this is so inaccurate...i'm an A***** mwahahaa!!!

There's a 56% Chance You've Been Abducted By Aliens

Maybe you've really been abducted by aliens... but probably not.
Let's face it. You're just a little weirder than most people.

What Are the Chances that You've Been Abducted by Aliens?

Did i mention i saw an ufo on 7 Jan'07 at around 7pm?? Dunno why everyone argues that it's a shooting star...

You Should Get An All Over Tattoo

Outrageous and funky
Because you should never have to choose just one tattoo

What Tattoo Should You Get?

Miami Ink, here I come!!

2007-07-13T16:42:00.000+08:00

Ok i feel so lazy right now so i'll just 'point-formed' it...
* Kbox = fun fun fun!
* Jay Chou = Hoods
* You can always count on free flow of nuts =)
* Die zhang shao han die!!
* Endless story yay!

And here comes the list!! (In no particular order...)

1) Hiroki Narimiya
2) Yalun (SHOO JOYCE!!)
3) Dadong (DOUBLE SHOO JOYCE!!)
4) Hsu Mengzhe
5) Yamapi
6) MatsuJun
7) Takki
8) Takeshi Kaneshiro
9) Channing Tatum
10) Jared Padalecki
11) Wentworth Miller

Guess I'm the least huachi among you guys HA!! =P
And don't you turn me to a club addict!!

That msg last night left me confused...shouldn't give a second thought
I dun even think it's possible to maintain the friendship as much as we might want to
And there's no way I'm gonna consider the chance...I think?
I did and I could really but I definitely won't
Nah...I ain't serious and I doubt I'll even bother
Geez I'm such a bitch...but then again life's a bitch..ah well...

~~Don't think about it Jamie, don't even think about it~~

2007-06-02T02:53:00.001+08:00

Damn I feel bad and I have no idea why I'm acting like that. It's like a stupid game and everyone doesnt wanna run out of hp. The scary part is I think I'll be one of the gamers too. I'm losing faith in it's existence in MY world if I haven't already and somehow I'm just not interested.

The honesty with all its innocence...all kinda fades in the age we're entering; Nope, I ain't judgin just on them

I don't wanna wait till it hits me in the face, I wanna beat you to it...get into tt friggin course; just part of the race. Ooo how ideal that scenario would be but somehow I wouldn't react that way. I'm weird..no wait, I'm special the world's weird!

English speaking japanese guys like those were such turn ons HAHA =)

Sometimes I cry and I don't even know why
Sometimes I get all happy and I don't even need a reason to be
I think I'm going schizo

SOMEBODY HELP!!!! AHHH!!!

If only you were closer
If only we spoke the same freaking language
If only I'll even bother to try
I'm sure things would be a blast ;)
But damn I'm lazy and I've been ~~gaming~~

They say your head could be your prison
Then these are just conjugal visits,
People will dissect us till
This doesn't mean a thing anymore
Don't pretend you'll ever forget about me

HEY YOU, JUST STAND UP WILL YA??!! I KNOW YOU'RE THERE AND I'LL FIND YA!!

---- Just typing random thoughts...the night keeps me thinking wahahah----

2007-02-27T14:01:00.000+08:00

I watched NANA yday...and it rocked!! I totally love the story...a great movie on love and friendship with the whole essence of music infused with it. Amazing how 2 gals with extremely distinct characters develops such a touching friendship.

Hachi's like so cute!! So saddening that she's gonna be replaced by that stupid Misa from Deathnote who isnt even half as cute as Aoi Miyazaki is...

Mika's fucking cool

And there's Hiroki Narimiya and Kenichi Matsuyama!! Hiroki's always stuck with such roles LOL

Hiroki! <3

There's something with Deathnote and NANA...

Guys with lip piercings are hot!

'Good evening,
We're the black-o stones.'

Endless Story by Yuna Ito

If you haven't changed your mind
soba ni ite hoshii yo Tonight

tsuyogaru koto ni tsukareta no
osanasugita no Everytime I think about you baby
ima nara ieru I miss you
It's so hard to say I'm sorry

*tatoeba dareka no tame janaku anata no tame ni
utaitai kono uta wo
owaranai story tsuzuku kono kagayaki ni
Always tsutaetai zutto eien ni

Memories of our time together
kesanaide kono mama don't go away

atatakaku tokedashite tashikameru no
yasashisa no shizuku kono mune ni hirugatteku
setsunai hodo ni I'm missin' you
kasaneta te hanasanaide

**tatoeba kanau nara mou ichido anata no tame ni
utaitai kono uta wo
owaranai story taemanai aishisa de
tell me why oshiete yo zutto eien ni

Can't find eng subbed ones...

Damn sweet song...I'll treat anyone to TCC if they can send me this song!! *TCC sugars~*
I actually teared as Nana reminiscences about Ren during Trapnest's final performance of this song='(

A minute of the making of followed by the video of Glamorous Sky =)

This movie rocks...even though crunchyroll.com was tormenting me by denying me access to the movie, watching the movie in 12 parts on youtube was damn worth it!
Jamie the Magnificient rates it 5 stars, 10/10 whoohoo~

2007-02-25T20:27:00.000+08:00

This year is gonna be a sueeeeeey year...guan yin ma Nat lied when she told me it's gonna be a good year for dragons =(

1. Every single time i waited for the damn bus when I was attached to atrium I would have just missed the bus or some shit happens that ends up in me waiting for like half an hour for the bus and turning up super late for work.
2. The one time i decided not to be late and cabbed down to work, I was so early that they decided to sent me on an errand to carry the friggin heavy whole carton of beer bottles from CQ and it was so bloody heavy la...and while carrying it back I dropped my wallet!! Lucky when I ran back out to find it just so happen a couple picked it up and i took back before they could rummage it...HENG AH!!
3. The dress that I just bought...the skirt's colour came off during washing and like the top part is white so it has pink spots and the belt turned pink =( And my sis said I looked like jap porn star when I wore it...TMD!!
4. My shoes...

I wore it like only once?? First time i wear only the sole of one of the heels came off...WTF...and on the first day of chinese new year too!!
5. My chinese new year visiting didnt even last half a day! Smartass relatives went on holiday and I only had a total of like 6 angbaos?? (New count: 9 angbaos!!) So all those fat fat angbaos didnt pay a visit this year...The newest low so far =(
6. So I was attached to atrium for like 8 days right? And I didnt see Kunio at all...so when Aundrea wanted to exchange her CQ shift with me, of cos I agreed since Piano would be working at the same time too...AND IT JUST HAD TO BE THE DAY WHEN KUNIO WENT!! KNN!! Not only that CQ sucked big time!! =(
7. My com hanged when I was watching Prison Break 2!! Ok la cant count this as suey since my damn com's hanging half the time...
8. I overslept so I missed REI's performance and the opportunity to see Kunio again...LOL...

So the night of the first day of CNY was spent tai dee-ing at TCC...oh ya there were fireowrks of course but probably one of the most boring displays ever =(

Oh ya this was like the weirdest group combi LOL

Dinner at HK cafe followed by pool n foosball...SP VS TPJC

This is to prove that I'm tall~

Oh ya before I forget...BALL BALL, JOYCEY~~~
I HAVE OFFICIALLY SAVED ENOUGH FOR THE TAIWAN TRIP!!! WHEEEE~ Yes come on let's go before I start spending it all BWAHAHAHA
And keep your hands off my arron and stick to ur chun or zun or wadeva and jiro LOL

MINE~!!!!!

I just discovered the joy of online shopping...and I bought these 2 items for only $3.50!! Wheee~ =)

Check this out: The wonders of make up and photoshop...

I have officially 5 more days to live...I dreamt of a sweet death last night...if only I'd die that way but I dun think I'll be fortunate enough...=( Death by music

I'm happy with my life now I love my freedom~ Free to choose, free to do what I want and get what I want wheeeeeee~ but something's just wroooooong...dunno what it is though but I just can't place my finger on it...I ain't missin nothing...but there's just this damn void..hmm...maybe i'm just missing a life...lol making no sense and now i'm just confusing myself =(

~~I can't let myself fall into that pit again, I dun wanna.....but how?~~

2007-02-04T01:48:00.000+08:00

I love my blog song!! Thx so much to my fren for helping me with the song..appreciate the effort *hugs* =) I so wanna play it!

Hmm havent blogged in over a month, and so much has happened.
TCC isnt as fun i guess...with Joseph gone there's one less fun person to look forward to meetin at work and plus an addition of...not gonna bitch abt that.

Working at tcc i've seen so many married couples visit, ordered their coffee den take out their newspapers and start readin without speakin to one another, den they just settle their bill and leave...like wtf? is that how sg adults in r/s are like? Damn and here I am still wanting a r/s that'll see me thru days when I'm married and I'd still be chatting n crapping non stop with my husband LOL

Deathnote 2 was a disappointment but oh well L's still cute! Had a major deathnote marathon with the anime and manga...^________^

And Confessions of Pain rocked!! Takeshi Kaneshiro~

So much i've learnt this month:
- Sleepovers are fun! Sweet bell pepper soup + beef steak + salad + spaghetti + lotsa red wine and absolut vodka = chilli beef soup!! Whoohoo~
- Jack's a name that either makes you go woots~ or puiiii
- Channing Tatum's hot. Absolute perfect guy...damn if he plays the guitar I'd go crazy...Step Up's like the best dance movie I've seen thus far!

I'm so in love with this video...esp their solo dance! The person tt choreographed the final showcase is the friggin Einstein of dance!

I re-lived the old days again...met up with Joyce and Ballball and Joanne...Arron is so mine!! Black shirt guy excluded wahaha and I just got paid again so I'm one huge step closer to that Taiwan trip!!
He's mine! =)
Taiwan, here we come!

Ola Ola, lurve lurve

Xiao Xin x2

Ok I've decided not to learn driving after all...what's the point if my family doesnt have a damn car? LOL it'll be really sweet to get one of thos drift cars though whoohoo~!! =) Fast and furiooooous~ Tick tick tick

Suddenly the world changes, damn y didnt the world inform me when it changed? I'm happy i didnt make that mistake too =)
I cant stand how girly I'm becoming wahaha but nail art is cute! Damn tcc for killing my nails...shopping n light makeup r still fun though ^_____^
Oh and I just got another piercing! Yay $4 only wahaha and I think I have a piercing fetish cos I so wanna get another 2 more and maybe a nose stud? And I love my hair right now...the anti-mess hair which is straight but not THAT straight, thin but not THAT thin lol...everybody let's do the 'rock-on' action! See? Anti-mess, Wahaha!

BFH, I so agree with ya...and to someone, I hate the way you treat your frens, coming to them only when you're in need and den forgettin them when you found like wad? Superior frens? Get a new persona and a new meaning to frenship and when you've found it we'd still be here, cos unlike you we understand what true frens are.

And tri, thx for your concern but i was seriously kiddin, lol it's weird replying ya thru blogs but you started it lol. And wa lao the way u punctuate i thought u were scoldin me la!! HAHA well no one can predict the future but for now I def was crappin when i was tokin abt him and fyi, ppl like who u mentioned arent tt great either haha...

I'm soooooo gonna get an electric guitar! Did I mention I love my blog song??

When you have to look away
When you don't have much to say
That's when I love you
I love you just that way
To here you stumble when you speak
Or see you walk with two left feet
That's when I love you
I love you endlessly
And when your mad cause you lost the game
Forget I'm waiting in the rain
Baby I love you
I love you anyway

Cause here's my promise made tonight
You can count on me for life
Cause that's when I love you
When nothing you do can change my mind
The more I learn the more I love
The more my heart can't get enough
That's when I love you
When I love you
No matter what

So when you turn to hide your eyes
Cause the movie it made you cry
That's when I love you
I love you
A little more each time
And when you cant quite match you clothes
Or when you laugh at your own jokes
that's when I love you I love you
More then you know
And when you forgot that we had a date
Or that look that you give when you show up late
Baby I love you ,I love you anyway

=)

2006-12-26T22:50:00.000+08:00

Have you ever cried at night,
Thinking it was bad,
Have you ever lost a love,
The only thing you ever had,
Have you ever screamed out loud,
From pain that you have felt,
Have you ever stopped and looked,
At pain that you have dealt,
Have you ever questioned someone,
Of love and if its true,
Have you ever really wondered,
If they truly feel for you,
Have you ever felt abused,
Or worried while you wait,
Have you ever made a big huge deal,
Over someone being late,
Have you ever had them leave,
And watched them walk away,
Have you ever thought of leaving,
But could only sit and stay,
Have you ever hurt someone,
And looked at what you've done,
Have you ever been the one that's hurt,
And thought that you were the only one,
Have you ever loved another,
And never told them so,
Have you ever tried to tell them,
But didn't know how it would go,
Have you ever been alone,
Where no one else could see,
So you sat at home remaining unknown,
having nowhere else to be.
I've felt this way before,
I've felt and dealt it all,
I've even lied,
I've even cried,
I've even felt the fall.
But nothing makes it better,
The Guilt or the Pain I feel,
I wish it all would go away,
I wish it wasn't real,
But that is not the case,
And it could never be,
It took me too long to open up,
And took me way too long to see,
I must;
Own up to mistakes I've made,
Get past the pains I've felt,
Wipe away the tears that are in my eyes,
And reflect on the tears I've dealt,
And Tell someone when I love them,
Before they go away,
And maybe if I word it right,
They just might want to stay.
-Dennis Mayer

2006-12-23T22:06:00.000+08:00

TCC is fun! Free food free drinks and finally got shuai ge!
Sarah's gonna get married...to her bf of 17 yrs!!
And I thought my uncle's marriage was like one in a million...
Both first love...so sweet! Maybe there really are happily ever afters
or maybe its ended with the previous generation haha
Anyways I hope the other TCC branch would be fun as well..

After taking orders everyday, it feels so shiok to be served!
Yummy yummy pizza hut...
I saw a family sharing a huge x'mas special pizza...
So sweet...made me so envious
I'm definitely gonna make sure my future family will be like that
And nothing like mine now...wahaha
But what's sadder was I dropped a whole spicy drumlet!! And a fry...and a calamari ring!!
Can cry la wa lao...='(

Yday was a happy day!
Met up with the LCMS
Fats is gonna get fatter from tcc-ing 2 consecutive days
Yummy Olio, cute bunk JL wahaha
Merry X'mas and ferro roche....so funny la but we still didnt get discount =(
After that we went to visit Anna and had to literally run thru raffles city to catch the last train
Omg so damn tiring I havent ran since 2.4...must go joggin soon waha
So damn shag when I reached home but I couldnt kick the habit of goin online...bad choice
Chat till 4am! So sleepy...lucky no work
Whatever it is, Jamie still loves lessy ok? Heh
wheeee
WHEEEEE
WHEEEEEEEEEEE
HAPPY DAY =)

Ten days without breakage...I'm so pro
Four days since I slept on a wet pillow
Seven days from now that I hope will pass real soon
I cant believe the whole time I talked to him and I thought that it would be someone else! DAMMIT

And now I don't understand what I'm going through
Must be a plan that led me to you
Because the hurt just disappears
In every moment that you are near, yeah
Just like an answered prayer
You make the loneliness easy to bear

You really know where to start
Fixing a broken heart
You really know what to do
Your emotional tools can't cure any fool
Whose dreams have fallen apart
Fixing a broken heart

I love that song...

I never knew there would be a day I would dread X'mas
The season of warmth, love, happiness? Bah!

~~I dunno why but...~~
~~Despite what you did or do~~
~~No matter how many times I've said it,~~
~~As much as I want to,~~
~~I cant bring myself to hate you~~

2006-12-19T19:21:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I saw someone who looked a looot like a once very best fren of mine.
Totally stunned, so were Shann and Nat.
New improved version. Totally.
Ha my new fave is G2000 esp Ice Vanilla Almond Nut.

16th Dec Sat
Went to EOY...admission was $12 and when it was nearin the end they took the barricades away!! That means we could have gotten in for free!! Plus the better cosplayers only came at the later part!! TMD!! Ah well at least it was fun.

Headed to East point for a short while and Studio Wu was having a performance! I managed to take a video of the girls hip hop dance and they were dancin to my current addiction~
I wonder if you know, how they live in tokyo
If you see it and you mean it then you know you got to go
fast and furioous~
drift drift drift
Haha I know its been ages since it was released...fine I'm slow =(

Back to the cosplay..let the pics do the talking...

So cute la, she was restin on the seats and couldnt get up lol

Willy wanker as my baby cousin says HAHAHA

The many KH2 characters... I wanted to take pic with a kairi and since I saw 2 of them I assumed more would cosplay as Kairi so I waited and waited for a pretty Kairi to show up...and then they all vanished...hahaha ooo not forgettin the many Soras that had eaten too many pizzas...

The turks...Reno and Elena...RENO!!!

Double Vincents...The first one was super cool and good looking too. And he was totally in character!
The second was frenly and pretty =)

More Advent Children characters..Yuffie's costume was super real, Cid looked like the real thing but a younger version. Kadaj (Or was it Lazoo?)...dun rmb haha and Cloud was beng. Nice sword though. I saw an Aeris and FF7 Yuffie but...i decline to comment =)

Death Squad...never watched it before, but one of the cosplayers was cute waha~ Too bad he looks weird here =(

FMA

Cardcaptor Sakura! All time pri school-lower sec fave!! Wahah

FFX-2 Yuna white mage...I saw a songstress but...no comments haha

L and Light...

A close up of L.
Of Cos L would be my main focus..heeeh. This guy really looked like L when he was posing. Super shuai super shuai...Until he look up and smiled...that's...another story haha

This L looked even more L haha

Oh and I met farah too.

Free? So that's why you really wanted it
So that's your side
It took you less than 3 days
No different from them
A leopard never changes its spots
I trusted you, i disbelieved that statement
I must be stupid, must be blind

But no matter what, you'll always be my no.1

2006-12-14T18:59:00.000+08:00

TCC is gonna make me fat..
I tot soy and soya was the same thing? Or is it not?
So much to study
And now I know why that guy always guai lan me cos he looks like -----
No wonder la same stupid smile...or more like smirk, thats y still retain similar essence

Birds of the same feather flock together
But what if one got too fat and had too many feathers so I guess they arent quite the same?
Hhaha not making sense...

I fell and it hurt...ITAI!! Waha~

Ooo the luxury of sitting down...

Oh and one more thing I've been keeping in for so long...
KNNBCCB!! Fuck you la cb kia! Stupid fucker, hope your LJ rot and have maggots feeding of it. CCB wa lao u suey suey I happen to see that! Dunno how many times or how many otehrs already no wonder will act like tt! CB fucker, bloody KNS prick, think I'm still kept in the dark eh? Got to be smarter than that then...damn you asshole...too huge a reaction? Fuck you la...

Whee I've never cursed like that before, now I see why those bengs n lians love talking like that...feels liberating? Ha but I'll prefer to stick to the refine me wahah~

2006-12-12T23:27:00.000+08:00

"Squall, I was scared, I was really really scared"
"Just stay close to me."
Lies
They were all mere lies
Assassination, Lost in space, Time Compression
They've been through that
So what?

She understood what he faced
He was crumbling under the pressure
He couldn't take it any longer
And he supposed I could?!
*I'm* the sorceress, *I'm* the one who's being condemned
Commander of SeeD
The title that hypothetically gave him the right to think otherwise.
He claims he care, I don't quite think so.

Time passed. A frail thing it was
The thin line that her emotions had trespassed.
The hatred in her grew. And she knew the feelings were mutual.
It was ironic.
The figure she once loved is now the core of her abhorrence.
She knew she probably did love him still.
But she'll rather choose to indulge in hatred.
It was after all the easier way out

Rinoa stood in front of the mirror
She didn't like what she saw
The hazel eyes that stared back at her
She saw the weak being that it belonged to
She hated it all, she hated what she became

She was a strong girl
A leader too
Her strong will behind her fervent smile was what drove the others to never fall in their never-ending fight for Timber's independence.
To others, she possessed the carefree attitude
It was a daily facade
One that she easily got used to

If it was one thing her bastard of a father did right,
It was allowing her to see that she was alone
It did strengthen her soul
For the 18 years that she lived, she knew she could trust no one
Fully count on no one but herself
Meeting Squall was a passing phrase
It was her foolishness to believe that he would always be there for her
She hated herself for being so weak and naive

Maybe she ought to thank him
Her heart would not shatter once more
For a fragile vase could not be broken twice
Picking up the piece to mend it
It would no longer be the same as before
The unsightly cracks could never be washed off

A guy could never really love a girl
Pre-matured thinking as a little girl who deemed the opposite sex as enemy
She laughed at her infantile behavior then
Paradoxical that she was mocking herself now
Perhaps truth was always clearer as a child

They chided her for being childish, especially Quistis
Immature without a sense of danger
She knew she was only trouble
She was after all the sorceress
(Even if you become the world's enemy, I'll be your knight)
But yet he was drifting away from her before that even happened.
A sorceress without her knight.
She was lost.

It was weeks since they last saw each other
Does he miss me?
Does he love me still?
Did he even love me?
She doubt it
It seemed cynical to think that way
But she wasn't being pessimistic, she was being realistic
Living in optimism was merely living in denial

Time may heal all wounds
But words left scars
No amount of time could erase those scars
The hurt that only grew deeper each passing day

Her fingers moved over the ivory keys of her piano naturally
The melancholic tune
Her raven locks covered her eyes
Everything you said and promised were lies, your action further proves it
She shut her eyes, forbidding her tears to fall

It hurt, it hurt a lot
She only wished for time to return to then...
"I don't want the future, I just want the present to stand still, I just want to stay here with you..."
She hated herself then for uttering such pathetic words.
Even though she knew it was true...
That she longed for his embrace once again...

NO! She won't have it that way!
I won't be a weakling
She learnt to be alone before
All she had to do was search for the past, live in it and leave the memories of the present

Looking around, engulfed in darkness
Yes she was, and always will be
Alone

One reason
A hundred delusions
A thousand daggers
A million tears

Infinite hurt

2006-11-24T22:19:00.000+08:00

Today marks the one week anniversary since the end of A levels whoohoooooo!!
C'mon man why is everyone complaining that they've got nothin to do?
I havent been enjoying myself to the fullest...
Maybe due to the bloody suey-ness that I had to fall sick after the first day I started partying...
At least it was fun at the chalet!! =)

And I've got more FF merchandise!! YAY!!! I love the GOF *muack hug muack hug*
I love Piano!! I love K-boo!! I love (10 to the power of -6)sq!! HAHAHA
I love Hello Kitty!!
I love Malteses and Chupa Chunks!!
LOL I'm so gonna die of diabetes....
I love birthdays even if there's a bloody fever and diarrhoea and vomitting involved...cos there's Mr. Birdy =)

The only thing I discovered this week that I hate is prom shopping...ah well...

2006-10-20T00:55:00.000+08:00

Ok, let's go back to yesterday...or should i say 2 days ago since its already past midnight...

Well, it was the last official day of school...hmm...wasnt really feeling sad or anything at all.
During the farewell assembly there were slideshows and performances that were put up by the teachers.
Supposedly touching but oh no, me didnt feel the least bit sad...like totally no feeling at all leh
Sigh, how ah? Am I that cold hearted?
Or maybe I didnt manage to read the messages dedicated to S13 from the teachers cos we were too busy screaming whenever we saw S13 instead of reading haha

At least we managed to catch a gist of the messages...
J Lam's: something abt like tokin to the class, esp the gals
Sky's: 5 PRINCESSES *curtsies* ^________^
Adrian Tan: Ok, I have to admit I have no idea what he said
JC: We were mentioned LAST =(
Screamed like siao when PP was dancing but dun think it was audible anyways
And our "VVV-" HAHAHAH

FATTY'S B'DAY AT SAKAE
How glam
Rosie you cant escape with ur big red bangle!! Extra hand, extra head, extra body LOL

Cam Vs Cam

Fats!! Now do u believe u have a big head??!! Lol and Roti's slpin again..

Cake time!!
In memory of the anti-climax sashimi

Stupid Weiliang, people pay $16 to eat and all you did was talk and talk hahaha

'Oops I dropped my sushi' trick?
And we continued to eat and eat

And so did he...
Udon with 3 slices of chocolate cake...wun LS meh?

Group pic!!
Sakae has nice waiters =)

Finally...proper gals' pic...but where's toots??

Failure attempt for 'act stupid' shot...WAA...traitors =( haha
Rosie really went all out LMAO ^__^

Haiii-yak!!
AND FOR OUR TRADITIONAL B'DAY ZAAAP!!!

Too bad we couldnt do our fave pose cos our cameraman, Kingkong wouldnt be able too take it hahaha!!

Lesson of the day 1: Girls have better sense of direction...look who got on the bus and who didnt :P
Lesson of the day 2: Hello Kitty wards off evil ;)

Now onto Thurs---->

DEATHNOTE ROCKS!!! Good thing I only read one or two books...those who read the entire series like Meng Wee and the other guy looked real bored, or so I heard...haha

AND L'S CUTE!!! I dun think anyone would agree with me since he had to play such a sloppy character but he's damn cute la!! So much cuter than the stupid battle royale guy...dunno why they chose HIM to play as Light since Light suppose to be a really really shuai guy...And Misa's annoying...had to put up with KH's even more annoying "so cute!! so cute!!" Lol kidding la he had to put up with my "so shuai!! so shuai!!" too ^______^

Disturbing facts about Deathnote the movie:
- No one ever perspires after a basketball match...and Light even wore his jacket after that...so smelly la!!
- L never gets fat!!
- There wasnt any blood after a head shot
- The death god whines
- The Deathnote never runs out of pages
- How he writes a name so wide and spread across a single page...waste paper la!! Save the trees!!

CANT WAIT TILL DEC FOR THE SEQUEL!!
AND I DUN WAN L TO DIE!!
OH OH AND I WAN L OR LIGHT'S BRAINS!! THEN AAA,A1 WOULD BE MIIINEE!!! WAHAHAHAA

Anyway we went studying after chatting for like almost 2hrs? Lol, wasnt very productive but at least i managed to complete one and a half papers? Ah well...I missed GOONG to study!! Sigh the sacrifices...=(

~You still my no.1
kimi to deai
shinjiru koto
wasurenai yuuki o mitsuketa yo
negai o komete
You still my No.1~

I wanna be your no.1 =)

2006-10-13T14:24:00.000+08:00

OMG I SO FUCKING HATE FUCKING DESPOS
What the fuck did i do to be so suey?
And I thought last week was bad...
Or is it the time for the congregation of fucking hentais
Well all you perverts and despos out there...FUCK OFF!!
Go find a hole in a tree and fuck yourself out!!

I dun remember how he got on my contacts but this fucker claims to have added me long time ago...

salazar says:
i wanna rip ur pussy apart
salazar says:
hahahahaha
~*~Jamie~*~ [05Astatine] GOONG is starting to be nice =) says:
ya if i could i would love to slice off ur penis
salazar says:
wit ur mouth?
salazar says:
haha
~*~Jamie~*~ [05Astatine] GOONG is starting to be nice =) says:
i was think more of a knife

Well, that's part of it...Fuck!! So disgusted!! The next testerone-driven fucker I meet is so lucky cos those words would definitely be a mere prediction of his fate.

2006-10-10T18:27:00.000+08:00

'What doesnt kill you, makes you stronger'

Got a message from Nuttie this morning
Glad that I'm not the only one reminiscing KC times
It's been ages since I saw her
Considering all those times when we attended gatherings and the other just had to be absent
Hell, it's been a long time since I met any of the blueberry morning (Lol!) ppl
Except for Grace...(Duh! Cos she's in the same screwed up sch!!)

Had a really weird dramatic dream last night...
And the theme was *drum rolls* suicide!!
It was a really long cinematic dream
In three diff POVs!!
First I was some person...and then I cant rememeber what happened (haha!)
Then, I was a man who committed suicide after I did something like bury my boss in this hole and somehow he managed to get out and that's why I jumped...hahah!!
And the funny part was I jumped out of the window the way I would dive into a pool!! LMAO!! So dumb la!!
Lastly I was in a role of an individual more real..I was a student and I went to consult my teacher...and i cant really recall what happened just that suddenly he had this malicious grin and then he took out a blade and slit the side of my throat..
I guess that's not really suicide, but the funny thing was I was still able to control my movements and my mind wasnt a blur (At least in my dream it wasnt)
No no the interesting part was that I could feel the coldness of the blade against my neck while it was being slit. Then I wasnt sure if I was dead so I reached out to feel for my blood but before my nerves could send any messages to my brain to detect anything...
I woke up.

Dreams mean the opposite they say
Does that mean I'm supposedly enthusiastic about my life now?
Haha not quite so as much as I would love to believe otherwise
Hmm, I read somewhere before that its good to slp by a notepad so one could record their dreams the moment they awake before they forget anything
Then they should check up the dream dictionary or decipher-er or something and it would allow a better understanding of themselves.
What crap la!
Where got ppl so free wake up only den record things that happened in their 'otherworld'
The first thing I think of when I wake up is "Damn I need to pee" or "Shit I'm gonna miss the early bus" or the likes of that.

Anyway, yesterday was a day well spent on revision...on FF8!!
With my very source of reminiscence - ff.net!!
I so miss the game!!
I miss wishing that I was living in the game~
I miss fantasizing that I was Rinoa with my very own Seifer/Squall!!
I miss penning down alternate lives of the characters thru fanfics!!
Sigh, the harsh reality!! (Ya I know I was crazy)

I guess I could unleash my fetish on ff8 another time since the entry's getting long and I'm sick of typing right now...
Well, the use of parenthesis has been fun...Ha!

That's why I ain't gettin stronger...cos it's killing me softly

2006-10-07T13:32:00.000+08:00

Argh...stupid hotdog
Bad case of LS
Mum said she's gonna cook tonight...
Another round awaits me? Lol...

Perverts and despos are disgusting
Especially if I dunno you at all
Info overshared!!
Eww feel so...violated? Outrage of modesty?
Haha too exagerrated la
Perhaps considered verbal sexually harrasement? Lol
Friggin disgusting

Another thing about MSN...
It's just lame how people love to announce their feelings on their nic
I'm not talking about things like yay and bla bla is love or bla bla sux
It's like how publish words that are most sensitive and they act all emo
When they disregard the feelings of the other party involved
And with their one sided potrayal
what else can their aim be but to spurn others to think likewise
And what's dumber is that they block the ppl whom their nics are directed to

I'm so bored!! Muggin is boring...
There's too much distraction at home...
maybe I should join zg at the cc?
haha ZG!! Power pad's fave!!
Haha good one more thing to suan him about

A frenship that was missed
Good thing chances were given to relinquish the opportunity

~~Why would anyone choose to hurt the one they love most? And even more so with such words?~~

2006-10-02T21:09:00.000+08:00

Yay cramps werent that bad this month..
Bad...but not that bad...haha
Damn 3 yrs of liberation and it decided it couldnt part with me
Lol, fuck you oestrogen...bleah

I'm sick of gettin failing grades
I dunno if I can perform a miracle for all my subjects...includin GP...
omg...gp too..my only hope is shattered

Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on, but didn't even know
Wasted it all just to watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried,
it all fell apart
What it meant to me
will eventually be a memory of a time when..

Yup, it's scary...i'm pretty much terrified..
Less then a month and i'm totally unprepared...
The more i study the more I know what I dunno and there's jus too much
Demoralising as it is and even more so when no one helps
Puts you down
And it's so difficult to seek consultation cos the damn teachers are hardly available
And so there goes the solution of tuition
But what good is it if your tutor is a stubborn grouchy old man whom speaks a language only he understands and puts you down every now and then too?
As though I didnt know my sch and grades sucks enough, quit harping on it
We all get the obvious fact so MOVE ON!

Things are bad, couldnt concentration
Would love to heck everything and just mug
Easier said than done
Maybe I'm just mentally weak since others seem to get by easily
I mean even if i do achieve so...is it too late?
I'm really scared
I trashed my life with one mistake after another

My stupid perceptions are stung by such inconsistency that makes it tiring
well heck it just heck it.
Yup I can do it, heck everything for it's worth
or better yet the lack of it

It's a rough time for everyone
Somehow the world just decided to go thru emo apocalypse now
There was an alpha so now there's an omega
Accept reality to be as harsh as it is
Now you cant blame me to be pessismistic me eh?

I dun like seeing my friends upset
We're all in this together
Let's all heck everything and be happy together k?
At least for the next one and a half months...
Yikes everyday's a fucked up day...
But come on it's just less than 50 more fucked up days
And we have survived more than 1.5 years of it

Let's just hang on ppl
You have all the time in the world to break down after As haha
Guess I suck at comforting
Jia you...that's all I hafta say..
Cheesy phrases like 'We managed to do it for Os we can do it again." or"We've come so far, we must have proven sumthin" are too overused and quite close to bull
So Jia you ppl, just hang on...

2006-09-25T22:46:00.000+08:00

Finally it's over! Yay!! Everything as planned!! Apart from the cake decorations haha
I really really must thank...
My mum: For her efforts in tryin to help
Jon & Yoshinoya: For allowing me to kop utensils which I forgot to bring :(
Piano: Thanks for wrecking your whole kitchen to help me find those baking stuff...whisker, beater, squezzer thing (see I learnt those names!) and looking as though you had your 2.4 all over =)
Alex: Thanks a millllion for your help...cake delivery, gravy and all!! For helping me with all that when it wasnt an appropriate time for ya...Thanks^10000 ^_____^

Hunt for fork and spoons
Coconut drink
Partial instant meal
Yummy gravy
10 big clues
Pretty 'seashell' =)
Physics
AAAHHHHHH
Blind man walk
Bang bang boom
Clock strikes 12
Lime green coffee flavour
Candle sniffing
Bottle meow and jiao
Beer? Nah!
Bad bad Sakae
Good Good noodles
Racing =(
Police-sumthin rocks
Picture imperfect
Time crisis bummer
Oily chicken tsk tsk
Salmon Sushi hooot!! Wasabi =(
Stranger
Black cat, black bird
Miami Vice...Zzzz

Goodbye to planning and re-planning days,
goodbye to project element MS haha, :X
goodbye to auntie marketing,
goodbye to searching for that bloody non-existent plastic container,
goodbye to watching cakes pop up then down,
goodbye to praying for icing to freeze,
goodbye to fearing everything would be a flop

Yay yay it's done and it was a success(?)!! Heh hope so...
45683968 =)

2006-09-20T18:13:00.000+08:00

Prelims are over
Time for a short pause for celebration...
Ok time's up

The lies
Okay maybe that's too strong a word
How about the facts that are blurted out and there isnt any explanation or probably none that was considered due to the glitch in not realising the loophole from the previous stories
Error carried forward ha!
And I aint gonna question either
Ignorance is bliss
Or maybe sometimes things are better left unsaid and forgotten

I was, I am, I still will be
Cos I dun deserve otherwise
So many adjectives to fill in the blanks
Feel like its primary school all over..haa...

Just read through my fanfics that have been untouched for 4 years
Writing argumentative essays kills imagination
"Argumentative essays deprives creativity. Do you agree?"
It's funny how easily I pictured love to be in the stories
Always revolving around stupid stuff
Squall loves Rinoa or
Rinoa loves Seifer
Break ups even though love was still there
Where true love actually existed

A waste of time and totally unnecessary it is
Guess I got stupider as I got older
Fell into the pit so deep that it's impossible to climb out
Couldn't even if i tried cos I'm a lousy climber anyways
Never completed a rockwall to prove my point
Foolishly wasting my time on..
Is it worth it? NO
But i'm such a dry fool like Olivia would say

The feeling's horrible
It's just so hard to be happy
Tryin real hard
Aint working
And no one's making it easier

I'm no longer living, I'm merely existing
Cos life has lost all meaning

2006-08-31T22:36:00.000+08:00

Goodbye my friends,
this is the end.

2006-08-28T14:09:00.000+08:00

Haiz shouldnt even have attended school today la
So useless...and demoralising!!
Had no idea what Choong was explaining
Totally clueless about every other qns
But then it was Choong...so much for his 600,000 eggs
At least Chem lecture was fruitful...if only Jolene Lee was my teacher X__X

Oh and GP was stupid!! Doesnt pay to be guai!!
Should have just skipped GP
But record time for a full essay!!
School's useless...no actually I think it's just TPJC that's rubbish
Should have meant it when I said I was joining you guys at nyp last year :(

Stupid Ballball and Piano, you guys havent answered my message!
The hesitation...oh no..it's contagious too uh-oh

Chilli Crab noodles is messy

Mac breakfast? Nah!

And Paris Hilton is damn dumb la...Stars Are Blind is so annoying!!

Crap, I'm getting random again...

Anyway, from now on i'll gonna exercise 24/7 self-discipline...24/7 muggin!! Study study study!! Life will revolve nothin more than Physics, Chem and Maths...oh and GP too, bleah!
Bernoulli and Milikan are my best frens!! So is Le Chatelier and Newton-Rhapson? or whatever bull that is..argh dammit...life sucks!!

But for now it's ~~nap time~~!!

2006-08-14T12:22:00.000+08:00

Woke up this morning with my left eye hurting like crap
Not painful enough for me to skip school but I did anyways
Haha no mood la
Stupid eye has been giving me so much problems
Perhaps it'll be a good thing to go one eye blind
Then I maybe I'll be blinded from the ugly things in life
Left only with the good things in life
But it'll be worse if the reverse took place hahaha

Had a long talk with a friend last night
Funny, it took us a year or maybe even more to clear the air between us
But it feels so much better to get it all out
Thankfully we're still friends now :)
Cheer up, your perseverence will pay off
95 more days to the end of it all
You still have lots of time, NS is only next year haha
Jia you for 'A's
Jia you in your love life

A smile brightens up anyone's day
Genuine or fake
Others will feel better and hopefully the effects will rub off on me too
A smile is what I'll wear each day haha =)

~~But all I'm left with is a void in my heart...a void that's growing~~

2006-08-01T14:38:00.000+08:00

I miss those times
when the smiles and the laughter were genuine
when i didnt need to hold back anything
everyday was pure fun and i hardly ever lived with regret

what has happened to me
why does it have to be this way
each time i'm left alone
those thoughts just flood my mind
once again, lost in tears
the uncontrollable drops
breathing just gets harder
yearning for something that i'll never get in return

a daily affair it has become
i'm just so so tired
it hurts so much
i cant take it anymore

how in the world am i suppose to mug
to get those As when i cant even pass
cant even concentrate with so much on my mind

i'll tell you when i'm sad
yday, the day before and the days before that
and so will i still be tomorrow and the days to come
cos things never changes

i wanna stop hurting
i wanna stop it all
but i'm so afraid to do so
or maybe i don't want to

2006-07-23T20:44:00.000+08:00

Let it go
You cant hold on when you're stretched so thin
You're just too weak
Cos you know it hurts to hold on but even more so if you let go
It's gone, no use clinging on to your misery
Slap on your face, wake up from it
Time and again, words exchanged but the wound aint getting better
Anxious to part but pleading for it not to arrive
The painful silence, the dryness of your throat
Wishing things wouldnt be like this
Nevertheless it never changes
You're just too fucking useless
Picking up a book and staring at it each time she walks pass
Whatcha tryin to prove?
You're kidding no one but yourself
Time is running out
Results in hand and you're punched back into reality
Blame yourself for being so fucking pathetic
Your very existence brings misery to others
Nothing but a fucking piece of useless shit
Always losing yourself in tears
That further shows how pathetic you are
You cant do anything right
Everything is ultimately your fault
Without you, your parents will have less to worry about
Less to waste their money on
They won't 'have to be sorry to have a daughter like you'
You're just gonna let them down in the end
Your teachers will have less a headache, a bitch less to deal with
Less a failure to pull down their quota
He wouldn't hafta put up with you
Fully concentrate on what he suppose to
Probably find someone else much better too
You arent a really great friend either
Your absence wun prove to be much or best say, any loss to your friends at all
Can't you see? You're nothing
Stop wishin for things to be better
To be seen differently, not to be lied to
Or for the feeling of being wanted or loved
Simply because you're not worth it
Jamie, why don't you just die?

2006-07-16T12:31:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was Odac's 20th handover ceremony
Wow Jue Chen actions reminds me of me la
Dunno if that's good or bad
Haha cant wait for ah pui to flirt with the next chief only to realise he's male
Counting down till farewell night
Better give me something nice! =)

Must study study study!! 8 weeks till prelims, 13 weeks till 'A'...
That's the time I have left to change my failing grades to As
C'mon man...Mr. sponsored-holiday-trip, pls be my motivation

Congrats to AZN for the inter-fac badminton and good luck for your bball ^______^
Jia you in fetching water, your team is sugoi! Oops~
Haha no la, you're li hai also la!

I hope things stay this way too =)

2006-07-07T23:37:00.000+08:00

Keeping my mind focus for the next 4 mths
Heck everything else
Easier said than done
To skip a rather important event?
Why do I even bother about it
To once again contribute so much at my expense
Only to sit back and watch as I get nothing in return?
So fucking tired of the repeating scenario

Facing the often rejection
Every little undesirable action sparks instaneous flashbacks
Of every upsetting moment
The difficulty in lifting a finger for that reply
More emotionally exhausting it is for me
To constantly keep my hopes up
Surprise me, wont you?
All I wish for is for you to play your part
Or maybe that's too much to ask for

Perhaps I ain't good enough
Lack the brains, qualities, niches, looks
4 months till I finally do something about it
I'll definitely like to stop wasting my time
But that'll probably further deter me from my path
Would you even care if I do so?

Living in a hellmouth
Reflecting on my screwed up pathetic life
For tears to put me to sleep almost every other night

So to keep my mind focus for the next 4 mths
Heck everything else
Is that even possible?

2006-06-30T22:36:00.000+08:00

Just another horrible day of my life
Another paper
Another failure
Is it really not too late?
It seems to me that no matter what I'll probably land myself in the same ending...
My story? Concluding in an inevitable way?
How the fuck am i suppose to be optimisstic
The choices I've contemplated
I really dun wish to return to what I used to be like back then
But helpless am I as stuff jus flings me in that direction

Why should I care so much
It tires me out but yet I still do so
Nothing is what I get in return
I thought things would be better but I guess I was wrong
Living a lie...does that mean I go to hell?

Your jokes and comments were unnecessary
Aint pissed, just a little feeling I cant conceal...disappointment perhaps
I know when I'm useless and sucky
Happens alot and I really didnt need that
It would be nice if...
I guess there's no point for me to even get started on it

Wish God would just answer my prayers
Everyone has problems, yeah i know that shit
But I cant seem to handle mine anymore
Burying tears in my pillow can only inter that much
Wearing that fake smile and laughter gets more exhuasting each passing day

Solution to my problems
I know one
But cowardice is blocking my way

2006-06-25T16:14:00.000+08:00

I ain't sad.....

Just disappointed...

~~damn flu~~

2006-06-24T22:54:00.000+08:00

Left with just a week to cover 2 subs
Enough to scare me into mugger mode
Equipped with zero knowledge
And zilch thirst for it
And I just hafta fall sick!!
Right when I wanna start muggin...
Wow I'm just not meant to study haha
Now nothing I'm readin is being absorbed
Not that it ever did la
Sigh, guess that's bye bye common test...
Nvm I'll redeem myself in prelims
Hopefully it won't be just mere words again this time...:X

Life sucks!!

2006-06-15T23:30:00.000+08:00

Shopping freely
Sakae-ing
Salmon stocking
Sashimi galore
VBall attempting
Splashing truth(s)
Tanning or likely burning
Photo craze
Yoshi b'day
Muthu's curry
Mustafa-ing, or maybe just you

Now THAT's joy =)

2006-06-10T22:28:00.000+08:00

Dreams are often said to supposedly depict our subconcious thoughts that are chucked in the back of our minds rite?

Funny, last night's dream almost mirrored reality

Or at least what I've occasionally been debating about

Vividly portraying the 'what if' scenarios

Probably spurred by the earlier convo..

or perhaps due to the events of the past few days

Regret over the mistake?

I'm in no position to consider the possibility

But I cant help but think that way

Confiding in me...why?

The confusion I'm facing...again, why?

Proven wrong

Not as dumb by looks

Won over by admiration

Strength, professionalism, maturity

Why didnt it all surface earlier?

Maybe then I would have trusted myself to agree so...

Even though I always knew it would have been a safer choice but decided otherwise

As for you, there's one thing I've been taught

Action speaks louder than words

Lesson has hit me hard

I'll shut my gap and gather the courage to do so

But I'll probably never will

That's the difference between us

Which leaves me at the losing end

Alone

2006-06-02T17:53:00.001+08:00

Horrid horrid day!!

Can't believe I actually failed...

The shock...and no, I'm not being sarcastic this time....

Ok it's whining time for me...

To ace it was my aim

A C or a D was what I expected

But nooo, I actually failed it! Argh!!

Failed a friggin paper that many others easily aced

Failed a paper set by the 2nd last ranking jc

Failed a paper that earned a careless mistake in almost every friggin question

And I'm not exagerrating

Grr...but careless or not, the grade's gonna stay no matter what

I guess I might not make it after all

Suicide now or after 'A's wouldnt make a difference I guess...

Except the amount of disappointment I'll bury with me haha

Anyway, snapping back to reality,

the lecturer was a real bore and irritant

speaking at a rate of 3 seconds per word

'I'm so hungry I could eat a moo moo cow' ;)

Ended up playing volleyball outside the council room until oily man came along

Blerb blerb blerb

HAHAHA playing VBall!! ;)

After that, it was badminton with the LCMs

Too bad Tutti couldnt stay and then there was four haha

Oh yeah, Anna went auntie marketing too

Craziness...

I guess hanging with the LCMs really helped keep me from feeling depressed

Really glad that I could count on me maids to take my mind off stuff =)

Hate the fact that our time together will end before we know it...

Well, I'll be looking forward to our shopping spree and sentosa outing...not forgetting our VBalling!! Wahaha!! ;)

2006-05-21T16:06:00.000+08:00

I wanna go sun tanning
I wanna go shopping
I wanna play KH2 and FF12
I wanna watch scary movie and da vinci code
I wanna have my sakae buffet
I wanna hang out with LCMs
I wanna have the time to do all that
But for now I just wanna do well for my exam =)

2006-05-20T00:27:00.000+08:00

[ ] You know someone that cares about you.

[x] You have a boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancee/husband/wife.

[ ] You have your own room.

[x] You own a cell phone.

[ ] You get good grades.

[x] You have an ipod/ mp3 player.

[x] Your parents are still married.

[ ] You have more than 2 best friends.

[ ] There is a swimming pool in your backyard.

[x] You live in a house.

T O T A L : 5

[ ] You dress how you want to.

[x] You hang out with friends more than once a week.

[ ] There is a computer/ laptop in your room.

[ ] You have never been beaten up.

[ ] You never cry more than twice a month.

[x] You are allowed to listen to the music youwant to.

[x] Your room is big enough for you.

[ ] People don't use you for something you have.

[x] You have been to a concert.

[x] You laugh more than twice a day.

T O T A L : 5

[x] You have over 100 friends on friendster.

[x] You have pictures on friendster.

[x] You get allowance.

[x] You collect something normal.

[x] People don't make fun of you to be mean.

[ ] You look foward to go to school.

[ ] You don't wish you were someone else.

[x] You play a sport.

[x] You do something after school.

[x] You shower daily.

T O T A L : 8

[ ] You own a car.

[ ] You usually don't fight with your parents.

[x] You're healthy.

[x] You've never had a cavity.

[ ] You are happy with your appearance.

[x] You aren't self-consious at all.

[ ] You have never got a failing grade in your life.

[x] You have friends.

[x] You have so many inside jokes with friends.

[ ] You know your parents care and love you.

T O T A L : 5

[x] You know what is going on in the world.

[x] You care about sooo many people.

[x] You are happy with your life.

[x] You usually aren't sick.

[x] You know more than one language.

[x] You have a screen/nick name.

[ ] You own a pet.

[x] You know the words to more than 5 songs.

[x] You don't have many enemies.

[ ] You are happy you're living.

T O T A L : 8

GRAND TOTAL : 31 x 2 = 62

Now count up the number and multiply by 2. Then repost saying "My life is ___ perfect"

That makes my life 62% perfect...which definitely proves to be a passing grade...so shouldnt that mean I should be happy?
Ah well, everyone knows that forwarded online msges are total bull...

2006-05-12T14:14:00.000+08:00

Maths common test in exactly 2 weeks..
And I've done nothing...aaahhh!!

Oh and I've just learnt that those who failed or do badly for their 'A's and transfer to poly after that are denied access to uni...

Anyways, Jamie Hsu will be back next week!! Guess that'll probably mean that I'll be meetin up with ball ball and Joanne soon heh =)

2006-05-04T19:43:00.000+08:00

Nothing lasts forever
Too good to be true
I knew that
That's why I cherished those times

It takes 2 hands to clap
Maybe it did
But it sure was a soft one

I'm drained out, too tired of it all
The daily facade
Tired of laughin
of that stupid fake smile
of being that crappy self
the lame sense of humor
the forced enthusiam

I'm not happy
But hey,
That's life

And nobody cares.
Live with it.

2006-04-26T21:07:00.000+08:00

I got my new phone today!!
Though I think it looks sucky..
Oh well what can ya expect of something free..
And all my msges are gone!!
Aaahh my saved messages!! =(
Argh...I'll get them back somehow...

Oh yeah and another great thing happened today...
First time I felt that the class was actually united
Hope it'll just get better =)

My AZN~ ^______^

2006-04-21T18:05:00.000+08:00

Yet another day
The feeling just gets heavier
I'm not sad, just tired
Or maybe I am? I dunno...
ok fine tt's a plus one for me
but no one's keeping count anyway haha...
I'm missin what I'm missin
And you're not helping

Thursday, 20th April
A fun fun fun day it was!!
A day when I really took my mind off some stupid stuff
05s13 gals rock!!
Finally there's something about JC life to be happy about =)
C'mon man, I'm sure we can do it!!
Lol the funny baton passing in circles,
the great timing,
cheering each other on,
badminton,
waffling,
No.1,
soccer match,
crazy cheering,
the many kariboos,
noob spectators,
I love you, maids ;P

2006-04-17T22:04:00.000+08:00

I tried, I failed
The glance, I caught
What it meant? I wun know
That was the last time
Hopefully, i'll be true to myself this time round
Too tired of it all
It hurts
Even more each time I'm being disappointed
It's all up to you now
But instinct tells me that's as good as throwing it away
Dun hate me
I'll just be me

2006-04-16T15:32:00.000+08:00

One day after another
jus wasting my life away
I know time's running out
I know I should make full use of it
But i just dun feel like doing so

So so so sick of this fucked up life
fucked up school
fucked up grades
of being so fucking useless
Sigh, so much for not being vulgur

I need a break...
from doing nothing...
ironic isnt it?

Ok, so here I am, just wasting my time here typing an entry that doesnt make sense
I have no idea what I'm saying or my point in all this crap

Cheers to all.

2006-03-28T21:53:00.000+08:00

Feeling so tired...
Yeah my studies may have improved by a mere margin
But it's not good enough
It's far from good
I have no idea how i'll be able to continue on with jc any longer
It'll probably help if there could be a moment of silence in this fucking place I call home
And I really dun need someone bitching about me and tryin to mess things up
I'm tired of life, I dun feel like living anymore
But I'm scared of death
What kinda fucked up person am I?

2006-03-23T21:41:00.000+08:00

Shucks...
I'm feeling things I'm not suppose to...
The mind's complex, the heart's further complicated
Crap, stop it stop it stop it
Quit spinning me in this vortex
Really hope I can push the blame to PMS or somthing
Haha so no link :X

2006-03-12T00:47:00.000+08:00

Wahaha today's a fun day!! K, maybe it wasn't that fun but it's been a long time since I felt this way...And I'm dead beat!! Shouldn't have gone to the ntu open house today...=(

No worrying about studies...
or anything else
Just hanging...
And shopping!!!

Omg I so miss the days when I could just hang out and go crazy
I guess when life's mean to ya,
just focus on the areas that make you smile =)

Oh, and aren't you supposedly 'in a relationship'?
Quit your damn act
I'm sorry for your girlfren
She deserves better
Two-timers deserve zero respect
Damn jerk
That goes for you too

2006-03-06T13:24:00.000+08:00

A stupid decision made last week
An even stupider one yesterday
Even though both actions contradict each other

I dun feel sad, angry or frustrated
Confused...that's probably it...
I have absolutely no idea what I want
Besides my 3 As of course

The words exchanged yesterday
It made perfect sense and I believe it should be done

Is it worth to give it all up for studies?
Yes
It's not the only choice
Nevertheless it is the best route

But I cant bring myself to let it go
I just cant

I hate myself for being so weak
To be unable to bear the hurt
For that I've been selfish
I'm sorry

2006-02-27T19:19:00.000+08:00

What happened after school was scary...thankfully Fatty was with me
I was too stunned, sorry you had to do all the talking
But it's kinda funny when I think back now
And I thought I was gonna get robbed again...haha...

Oh and thanks for your time too
Kinda glad that I talked to you =)

Just realised that of my many posts,
only one recounted good memories
does my life really suck so much?

Today was horrible
Yesterday was worse...much worse...
I dunno how I'm gonna face tmr...
I dun wanna think about it...or at least I'll try...

Btw, I really dun like S.H.E....

2006-02-25T11:17:00.000+08:00

I know you're probably reading this
A single msg
A forwarded one at that
Even though I was probably just one of the few you sent it to
To show you cared or 'cared'
It made me feel better when I was down
At least a little
I'm sorry for taking you for granted
I'm sorry for not treasuring our friendship

2006-02-25T11:10:00.000+08:00

If I never asked, you probably wouldn't have told me anything
Whatever
I maybe lost but I'm definitely sure that I'm heading in the wrong direction
Stop feedin me with lies
I wasn't born yesterday
I knew your words couldn't be true
And I still chose to believe in them foolishly
Some told me they were, others told me otherwise
I only blame myself

2006-02-24T23:50:00.000+08:00

If only someone could tell me how I'm suppose to feel
Totally dumbfounded right now
The many scenarios
My intuition hardly fails me
Or is this all just on my part?

If only I spent all those time on my studies
Failed another test
Nothing surprising
If only I can keep to my resolution

2006-02-20T23:27:00.000+08:00

What's the most important goal of our lives?
Ha always words but no action from me...
It's not worth the expense of...
Isnt that what we're always told?
It may not be affecting me but i certainly wont want it to cost others...
Maybe I'm thinking too much...
A single statement that could set me off into such a drastic dilemma...
A few more days...to buy time?
Or to have a 'perfect' finish to a 'perfect' start?

2006-02-18T23:08:00.000+08:00

This is my blog so it seems I have every right to whine and bitch...and guess wad? That's wad I'm gonna do.
Everyone goes thru one of those 'i hate me' moments which i always thought were stupid...but I am part of everyone...
I suck at everything I do or attempt...I have a flare for nothing and I dun excel in any areas be it academic, sports or arts...I dun stand out as an individual either; lacking charisma or that all-so shining charming aura
So what does that make me?
A loser?
A liability to the society?
"You cant be a pro the moment you try something new" Maybe I'm being too greedy? I know it's impossible to be good at it immediately but it may help if I didn't suck this bad
Oh well...that's life and there's nothing you can do abt it...cliche isn't it?

2006-02-06T15:35:00.000+08:00

"First you'll meet obstacles, then everything will go smoothly" That applies to all scorpios according to guan yin ma Nat..
It happened for me...I'm happy now =) really haha
The gift of the gab
I love long bus rides~
81, 12~
25~!!!

Chingay was fun!!! Stupid...but fun!!
Whoohoo!! VIP!!!
Black nike shoes~ wahaha~

Surf n Sweat...go ODAC!!! haha~

Results tmr...scary...good luck to me..may it not be my doomsday :X

2006-01-14T22:31:00.000+08:00

Gang of IV outing tomorrow...shouldn't I be overjoyed?
Embracing those wonderful KC times that I miss so much
But somehow it doesn't feel the same any longer
We've moved on with our lives
So many changes have taken place
They have changed
I have changed
It's not like I'm dreading it...I'm really looking forward to it
Just that the feelings are so caged
Drained so mentally, physically, emotionally
The past year that taught me so much
Happiness, Grief, Sadness, Regret
Somtimes I wish it had never taken place
Rewind back to my life before that and wished it never ended
I'm tired of these feelings
I'm tired of hearing myself gripe over it
I'm sure a fren is tired of listening to me
"If can end the unhappiness then end la"
or so I was told long ago by someone who regrets those words now
It's a different story for everyone
Maybe it'll work for me
Patience? I cant take it anymore
Communication? I just cant find the right words
Blame it on my bad command of english then
As for studies...i'll leave that till the 16th
And at this instant, I want nothing more than to move out of this goddamn house
Why is my life so fucked up?
Why cant there just be a part of it that doesnt make me feel like crap?

2006-01-10T17:37:00.000+08:00

6 more days till i know my fate
haha kinda scary even though i've no attachment to the school...
Odac isn't as fun as it was anymore
studies? screw it...
my frens, the kc-ians i'll continue to stay in contact with no matter wad
tpjc-ians...so many have come and gone, who'll stay till the end I'll never know
friendship proves to be ephemeral

into another chapter...
i guess i'm suppose to be happy, then why do i feel like shit
things aren't what it seems
i suppose happy endings dun exist, not in my story
it's not even transient for me
maybe the author sucks at writing
looking at others i guess my story is far from ideal
it doesnt even have a body
stories where questions should be fed with answers
my book is made of irrelevant chapters
spewing questions after questions
drowning the characters
how can it ever be easy to pen down feelings
i'm stuck in a vortex, blinded by confusion
why does things have to be this way?

Why

Why do you always do this to me?
Why couldn't you just see right through me?
How come you act like this
Like you just don't care at all
Do you expect me to believe
I was the only one to fall

I can feel, I can feel you, near me
even though you're far away
I can feel, I can feel you baby, why?

It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you, more and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, Are you and me still together?
Tell me, You think we can last forever
Tell me, Why

Hey, Listen to what we're not saying
Let's play a different game than what we're playin'
Try to look at me and really see my heart
Do you expect me to believe
I'm gonna let us fall apart

So go and think about whatever you need to think about
Go and dream about whatever you need to dream about
Come back to me when you know just how you feel

2005-12-31T00:00:00.000+08:00

2005...what a meaningful year it has been...a year where I have experienced enough 'first times'...wahaha sound so wrong...but looking back my life seems to be so much different than it was just 365 days ago...2005...
Made a whole bunch of new and great frens
Celebrated Valentine's day
Drank beer not wine for once
Learnt mahjong
Learnt bridge
Contacts
OGL
Fell in 'like'
Went abseiling
Got a gist of dragonboating
Attempted squash
Played bridge on an overhead bridge
Slept over at e beach literally
Walked from TM to my house
Odac LTC
Been robbed
Flunk an impt series of exams badly
Jogging for fun?!
Joined a maid agency and been employer haha
Got a blog
Lost a loved one
Odac exco
Rocket
Fell out of 'like'
Learnt cycling
Midnight badminton
Attempted blading
Odac farewell night
Visited OCH
Went for a damn first aid course
Became full fledge first-aider waha no worries ppl!!
Flunk my promos
Shopping?!
Highlights
Went overseas without parents...whoohoo!!
Experienced Caving
Tried rapids shooting
Experimented white water rafting
Paid to slack
Carried a python
Got Jason's self taken pic..wahaha!!
Celebrated Christmas and not with midnight mass
Snow spray cans
Studio wu
Been happy for a whole new reason =)
Going for countdown party

2005-12-23T23:22:00.000+08:00

Bloggin twice a day...a new record for me eh...

Who needs a shooting star for wishes to come true?
2 entries...with so much contridiction
Amazing how much changes in mere hours

11:09pm thanks for making me laugh =)

2005-12-23T14:02:00.000+08:00

Can I, can I not?
May I, may I not?
Should I, should I not?
Would I, would I not?

What if...?
If only....

I wish, I wish, I wish...
I wish to see snow...
..and the breaking of dawn again

A wish to be fulfilled?
By one and never will be done...

2005-12-18T01:13:00.000+08:00

OMG....never thought I'll ever say this again...but 5566 rox!!! Wahaha only for tonight la...
Went for their concert tonight with Joyce and Angelyn who's still whining over her lecturer that is em...not *that* cute la!! Hahaha!!
Meng zhe is sooooooooo damn cute...sooooooo damn shuai wahaha sooo gonna fall in love with him again!!!
The only nice part of the concert was when they were singing some new song and taking photos of themselves with the polaroid camera and then throwing the photos to the fans...And I got one of the photos!!!!!!!!
A photo which Meng Zhe took!!
With his own hands!!
From his own cam!!
Of himself!!!
Which he held!!
And he threw!!!
Xie Zhi's face is a bonus!!
One of a kind!!
And I got it!!!
Wahahaha Meng Zhe rox~
I'm so000 Jamie Hsu again~

2005-12-14T05:02:00.000+08:00

You dun own my life
You're nothing
Your misfortune or perhaps mine?
Dun start shouting at me when you dun know anything
You dun even know me
Not my school
Not my birthday
Not even my age
We may be related my name
but that's where the line ends
We're nothing more than strangers
Dun get you involved?
Dun worry, you wun or will ever be
You never were part of my life to begin with
You're just the guy that pays the bills
Isn't that what you always proclaim to be?
Well you've claimed yourself that much credit alright
Sick of your face
Sick of your voice
Even though we hardly speak to each other
Your very presence irks me
Get out of my life
I hate you

2005-12-11T23:48:00.000+08:00

Saturday 10th Dec

Met piano around 3 today to go shopping but ended up leaving her house close to 5 cos she realised that she had lost her posb card and her ez-link...AGAIN!! On top of that she forgot to invite someone else for the sleepover...haha sorry!!

When we arrived at Shaw House we decided to try on gowns again for fun...haha the lady's face was so black cos we trying on so many but yet not buying any. Then when we finally reached Far East to really start shopping, we realised we only had about 2 hours to head back to piano's house soon if not it would be KABOOM...managed to reserve a top from mango before that though thanks to a fren who's working there..haha we were so happy when we heard mango got 30-50% discount...too bad the clothes werent as nice as we expected...At the same time I was faced with an sms bearing terrible unbearable news...from ball ball...2 schools of Japanese guys were checking in at the airport right that instant!!! And according to ball ball, as i quote, 'A lot of the girly looking kind that you are crazy over la' which i intepret as the damn cute and kakkoii kind!! and where was I?? Somewhere in mango at Orchard??!! Arrrgh!!!

Ooh then had dinner cooked by piano's dad...once again he cooked food enough to feed like ten people haha...but the food damn shiok haha so long never taste his cooking liao

After that tried to figure out the notes to another song with piano again...this time it was guan huai fang shi haha OOOO and i managed to chance upon a daaaaaaamn hoooot pic in piano's phone!! Wa lao who ask me to be such a nice and thoughtful person...wanted to help her save money n send it to my phone thru infra red instead of mms then cos it takes such a long time she caught me before i could send...and she DELETED it!!! Now it's lost in history!!!! Never mind I believe i'll get another opportunity soon bwahahaha!!!

Later on Sarah piano and me had a super fun interesting long talk...haha there was music, there was videoing, there were lightsticks...hahaha!! The room rocks with our creativity...piano with her S <3 J n K~, Sarah with IAZ wahaha :X
KO-ed at 3am?

Sunday 11th Dec

Woke up at 11am today when we were suppose to meet Cherlyn at 10am? Oops...haha went to cycle at Pasir Ris Park...haha had problems starting at first...cycling is sooo damn fun!! Tiring but fun!! Especially when going down slopes and you're moving fast and the wind blows against your face hehehe...we stopped for a while to climb the spider web...dunno how those kids got up so fast man...kow tow to them...not to the one that got sand in my eye hmph :X

After that we went strolling round downtown east...the arcade had a stupid rip off ball game that's impossible to win unless you cheat...haha well we tried except that we didn't pay while the arcade lady jus stood there staring at us

Went out with piano again to go far east in order to accomplish our shopping mission. Ended up at TM where I finally got the Baleno top that I've been eyeing for like so long!! Haha bought 3 of it in fact which is so gonna get me killed...crappy that the guy caught me trying to get away with buying the s holter with m outer layer...haiz

Headed to airport to study and meet ball ball!! Natalie didn't join us cos she has yet again another birthday party to attend!! So off to Macs with piano...to study...which we didn't...ball ball joined us for a while before going back to work while the two of us starting talking about stuff until ball ball ended work and we all went for dinner...so once again we didn't do any studying!!! On a side note, the chocolate store was crazy enough to sell chocolate sticks that were the length of my middle finger for 2 bucks...

Well at least now I'm closer to revamping my wardrobe...have to admit it's kinda boring to stick with t-shirts n shorts...Oooo and i really miss KC still....

And I'm so gonna flunk advance...

2005-11-23T23:08:00.000+08:00

Waiting after midnight, hoping somehow he would be the first
he wasn't...wasn't second either
it has been so long, he probably didn't remember
more likely that he didn't even bother to
not that I care
I'm over him
surely
definitely

is the same thing gonna happen all over?
two different individuals yet so similar
everything happened so fast
memories I'll treasure cos that's all there are
soon we wouldn't be talking
i dunno how but i know it'll come to that point
it's already slowly sinking into the truth now
even if it isn't it has to happen, i'm sorry
paranoia it may seem
your every action or word affects my perception of this shit
you're confused and so am i but i can't deny the feelings
or that tiny bit of it for that matter
i cant read you but somehow i'm getting that you dun care
it has been exhausting and i cant really be bothered any longer
the best part?
you don't even know it

2005-10-29T14:13:00.000+08:00

Reached home about 11am? So sian had to go out pass Fatty her ez link which I koped haha...probably going out again later...omg what's gonna happen to my exam on Mon...oh well why do today what you can leave for tomorrow? Heh...Noodles time!! ^_________^

28th Oct Friday
Yay school's officially dimissed!! Whoohoooo!! Once PW ends then it's Odac all the way and then hardcore mugging comes in in Dec heh =)

Visited KC again with Yati n Kariboo...met up with charmaine there...she looks so matured!! Too bad our prank failed haha. Learnt about Zakiah and Zakira hahaha!! Foo looks so skinny now maybe cos of the stress she's getting from her o level classes n the dilemma she's in...had a nice chat with her which D Chai had extra-ly cut in...Lol and Teo Sock Woon believed the TJ crap, stupid Yati had to blow it bleh haha

Went to parkway after that for Yoshi under temptation...cant believe I ate so much...rushed home and went out to meet the maids after that to join our class for marina bay's seafood buffet...heh we were like 2+ hours late? Hahahaha at least we gave Joel and Anna some alone time which they didn't put in GOOD use!!! The food wasn't as bad as Kariboo was complaining about...ate until pregnant again and mystery number was funny!! Poor Rosie she looked like she was gonna die from the food!!

Finally had our girls' sleepover!! Too bad Maria couldn't join us...see la go on date with Sir Jake then dump us aside =( Wa Fatty so heavy lol!! Roti, Rosie and Yati were too drained out while Anna, Fatty and Me were busy yakking on the bed...Ultimate winner was Anna...last to KO..."Headcount 1!"

2005-10-21T18:25:00.000+08:00

Gosh I just can't stand my life...
Just found out that I'm in for conditional advancement...like wtf...there's people who scored lower than me and they're going for straight promotion...and when I say lower, I mean much lower...I'm getting this cos of what? My stupid fair conduct? So even though i changed my attitude, wear the bloody badge, tuck in my blouse, take off my earrings, the decision still remains unaffected? Wtf la, there goes my holidays and my job...
FB pissed me off so badly today...there's a limit for everything and I've just hit mine...stupid asshole...if I melt all his fats I bet there's enough for a tidal wave...bloody arrogant obnoxious jerk...tries to scare others with brute strength to show his anger but cowers when someone else proves to be irater...geez can't wait for the 9th of Nov...bye bye PW
Nordin's another asshole...if you hate Odac and simply dun wanna spend a single cent on the club then just say so and cut your damn hypocrisy...trash your crap and stop reprimanding me...
My game's not working and I have no mood to study for that freaking exam tmr...
What a fucked up day

2005-10-11T23:14:00.000+08:00

Never thought I'll fall back into it again hehehe!!!! Suppose to meet Joanne at like 12 today then things just kept popping up so we pushed it back to 2...finally met her at mm...haven seen her for sooo long!! About a year??!! haha hasn't changed much I guess...Met up with Angelyn later...

Omigod had so much trouble finding that damn place...ended up at Oriental...then found my way thru the carpark??!! it was so funny later on...that woman like wad 60+? ah ma already la! Me and ball ball saw her zao keng sommore...wa kao...then later kena squashed by a huuuge butt...wad a day to meet weird ppl...and people with really nice hair~~~ Yellow shirt~ ^____^

Monday 10th Oct
Went Sentosa with S25..met Judith and Meow like half hour late (oopsie!) Reached harbourfront and met Michelle and XinYi there...wad a day for class bonding...s30 and s18 were going to sentosa too...
We headed for Palawan beach cos Judith was complaining that Siloso too crowded, cannot breathe and that palawan is shadier and had the big cheese thingy according to Jo...then the guys complained that there were no girls to see there since it was kinda empty so we took the tram to Siloso...played volleyball at the court illegally until the guy came and told us the rates..$5 a person or $30 an hour...cut throat sia! Then we wanted to fight with s18 for the 'island' but not long after, they left that place so we chiong for it...the guys went to swim first while the girls played one-way volley which we soon gave up and joined e guys...later went to rent kayaks while rq and I went to look for interclass competition...s30 wanted time for class bonding and s18 only agreed after persuading then like for ever...went back to get s25 but we didn't wanna waste our half hour of kayaking left since the kayaks cost $16 courtesy of Law and Meow heh...
Went back to meet S18 but guess they got tired of waiting so they didn't wanna play anymore...left for bugis to meet xiao mei later on...stupid Judith ps us...oooh creamy chicken pasta...yummy...went home after that and i'm sooo burnt!!

Bu De Bu Ai~

2005-10-01T21:22:00.000+08:00

Today's such a physics-al day!! Heh finally started hardcore mugging on physics! Can't believe studying can be so strenuous...I actually dreamt of exams 2 nights in a row! And my mind was going thru physics formulae while I fell asleep studying just now...

At least yesterday was fun! Played squash with Maria and Fatty Amah and then I actually used physics to determine where the stupid ball landed!! Hehe and I saw him and he waved at me! Kakkoii~ Wahahaha~ oh wth...he probably thinks I like him thanks to my lovely maid agency...hope he not so thick skin la...ooo and later on I played badminton with Fatty Amah...shed the fats baby! Badminton on a reeeeally windy day!

I love Physics~ I love Physics~ I love Physics~ I love Physics~ I love Physics~ I love Physics~
Yup keep on saying that and it'll all be true! Just like pixie dust!
No.9 Haru~!

2005-09-24T23:13:00.000+08:00

How long has it been? So quickly has it been over a month...still doesnt feel like it has really happened. I cry but things soon go back to normal as if nothing happened. When's the next time? Mid oct...or maybe earlier?
Too sick to walk but still came...July 4th was it? I cant remember when I last went but I should have done so all those times I wanted to but what's the point? too late for regrets
Wednesday..was it a sign?
To show support? Pass promos...ha...
My greatest fear that emerged from young, recently came to reality but doesnt stay in my mind...what happens when it finally does? I really dun want another to occur

2005-09-17T23:34:00.000+08:00

What a lovely day!! Woke up at 3pm?? I really really wanted to wake up early to study but guess that plan didn't turn out well...so when I finally got down to sieving out my physics file, I decided to play the piano...jus for a little...it was already 5pm when I took out the the measuring techniques notes haha..rested my ass on the sofa and stared blankly at the notes then played gameboy for a while and then messed around with my origami stuff before going down to the coffeeshop for dinner...

Finally got my hands on AC and i happily called Jo to watch it with me and guess wad?? it couldn't work on my com!!! Spent like more than an hour trying to start the ^&%*@%$ thing...Wahaaa when will I ever watch it...:'(

Oh look it's 11:49pm now and i still haven started any shit on physics..whee...

2005-09-13T23:22:00.000+08:00

Sian...the day started with me missing the bus by like 3 secs??!! Go school kena chased out of class by CT haha kinda funny...
ooh and I felt like a real student for the first time today! I skipped class not to slack but actually mug maths!! But quite dumb la everyone rushing EOM and I didn't realise that I was suppose to hand mine up today too...at least got one day allowance..stupid ah pek I pass the close eye test la!! Managed to talk to Ju a lot more than usual today...miss the old days :'(
Lessons ended like around 5:30??? Went library after that and wanted to mug a little but ended up with milo and cookies instead...at least better than yday, simply just gaining some crappy sex ed from ms only la...k that sounded wrong...haiz 3 more weeks...

2005-09-12T01:42:00.000+08:00

I desperately need to start mugging....
I desperately need to get some sleep...
I desperately need to earn some cash...
I desperately need more new scores...
I desperately need to start writing...
I desperately need get some new games...
I desperately need a new wardrobe...
I desperately need a reason to start the idol craze again...
I desperately need a new template...

Haha...Guess I'm just a fucking despo

2005-09-12T01:35:00.000+08:00

I rock!!

2005-06-26T11:33:00.000+08:00

Another day wasted...didn't manage to do much studying, didn't go out...practically wasted another day in my life...and i'm so gonna flunk e common tests. What's worse is that there's only a day left of holiday...oh well, life's a bore...

~*~The Sanctuary of PhoenixBlade~*~

~~The Sanctuary of PhoenixBlade~~